My Dream, My Legacy ..♥

So recently I read something (not sure what it was , probably home work) and it asked me what would I want to be as a back up career if my main career goals didn't pan out , and I was just beside myself .. To this very moment I still don't know .
For any of you that have actually seen my Facebook page (aka online portfolio) , or read a lot of my other posts , my passion is hair . It's what I love to do and what I have been doing my whole life pretty much . I started getting more and more into hair dressing around 7-9 years old , and I wanted to try every thing I saw , wanted to watch all the hair dressers at the stores , and all the shows .. And I wanted more than anything to practice , but no one wanted to let the little 9 year old experiment on them .. So I did my own hair . I have taught myself almost every thing I know about hair , how to do it , how to maintain it, and how to keep it healthy . When I was about 12 , I decided I wanted to own my own salon , that hair was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life .. But I also didn't want to be working under some one else for the rest of my working years , as you know from previous posts I'm not good with rules .. Every one tried to give me reasons as to why it wouldn't work . "You'll never be able to afford the building" , "You wont be able to handle standing on your for feet all day" , "You ALREADY have back problems" , "do you know how many hair salons there are ? what makes yours so special?" , And the best of all , "you can never run a business w/o a business degree" . Let me just say something .. I get that these are all real problems that may occur , real scenarios that could prevent me from doing this job for the rest of my life .. but you know what .. This isnt my LEGACY for no reason . This is what I am good at and what I love .. No , as of right now I don't have a fall back , but you know what , IM YOUNG . I have time . And in response to those comments ..
1. If I save up enough money , I can have any building I please
2. I've stood longer, walked longer, and it's not like i'm not ALREADY doing hair all the time , I'll just have a designated spot for it .. let me worry about my feet
3. I am working on getting my paper work in order tomorrow so I can get my physical therapy and hopefully not have to live with this bad of a back well into my adult years .
4. YES , there are a lot of salons , great ones at that .. But none of them have ME !
5. and YES I absolutely can run a business w/o a degree . I learn fast and I don't remake old mistakes . If I can manage myself I can manage a building , it really isnt much different . I need to handle to income and output of the cash flow , monitor the stock in the store , do taxes on time , keep tabs on my employees , make sure my building it up to code and DO GREAT HAIR .
So , if you would like to help me along with my dream , and you live in sacramento .. I would love some new clients ! (: I do a range of hair styles and designs . I will post a link to my page which includes what I can do , what I have done  , and a price chart ..
Help me live my dream ..<3
facebook.com/Legacyinthemaking2013

Peaceful Unicornville

As per our English project, Me and my friends Marcy & Kendall made our own utopia we call Peaceful Unicornville! We had fun writing this , SO you BETTER have fun reading it ;D

Welcome to Peaceful Unicornville !

Let us tell you about our Utopia!

Our community is a democratic based society where community has complete control over all elections via electronic voting ballets. We are a very peaceful people, but do take necessary precautions to stay safe, as we do all reserve the right to bare arms. We care about our environment, so we drive in marsh mellow cars as to abide by our "no pollution" laws. We are a happy, positive people and require 3 smiles a day to uphold a peaceful environment. All are welcome, we have bright colors, unicorns, and smiles!

Every year we have our Annual Unicorn Festival where we have rides, games, rainbow cotton candy, and a raffle drawing to win a full pot of gold! Our festivals are all age friendly, and encourage you to become part of our community. There's always room for new neighbors.

Our schools are safe, and fun. We have ball pits in every school for recess and passing period play time. Our parks are clean and family friendly, the scariest thing you might see is a unicorn pooping rainbows, but who doesn't love rainbows?! We also live in rainbow gated communities, with watch towers of rainbow warriors.

A normal day in our society involves all the norms of another city, with a few extra rainbow perks.

DAILY SCHEDULE:

11:15am Wake-up

11:24 Drink unicorn tea

12:18pm School starts for kids

12:35 Shower time ! (in unicorn tears)

1:46pm Work starts

6:46 Work ends

7pm PARTY TIME!!

3:09am Party ends

(go home)

3:29am Rub good dream midget and go ni-night

Although we advocate fun, we can only stay this peaceful because we have rules.. Our rules include:

No dull colors- No solid black, grey, or black, must have other colors included.

No pollution- All citizens must drive marsh mellow cars, no smoking, and no littering.

Only kind words spoken- No hateful, hurtful, or disrespectful words shall be spoken to another citizen.

Everyone must wear unicorn horn hats- We must honor our national animal, the unicorn, by wearing a horn like theirs.

All citizens must attend annual Unicorn Festival- It's your duty as a citizen of Peaceful Unicornville to attend our festival.

No violence- Altercations must be solve using words, or by contacting the authorities.

We have our rules, but we're safe and fun. Come visit us now, where the fun has begun!

Fluff the Holidays !

I am already sick of the holidays ... I'm sick of seeing it , I'm sick of hearing about it , and most of all I'm sick of being involved in them ... All I hear is Christmas songs and commercials , Facebook posts , even the decorations and the black Friday sales .. SHUT UP !
I have never been a fan of holidays honestly .. You spend entirely too much money on candy for halloween , more food than you can actually eat for thanks giving , and then you throw yourself into insane crowds of people on black Friday so you can spend money you don't have on presents that your kids dont need because "tis the season" right ..?
The whole concept is fucking annoying . Having to sit around and pretend to like people you only see like 4 times a year , just because of the fucking calendar month .. So obnoxious .... It's not worth the time , energy , or money that everybody wastes on these fucking days .. they are JUST days on the calendar ..
Like the DAY after Turkey day ... we start X-MAS decorations .... Fucking forreal ..?
It's not even Dec yet and I have Christmas carols stuck in my head ... Not to mention ... It's called CHRIST-mas ... Jesus wasn't born anywhere near winter ignorant fuck tards xP
Read your bible , do some history , and TURN OFF THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC !

STUPID STUPID STUPID

(Explicit warning : I am ranting and thus , my language will probably stray from decent .. If you don't like it kindly GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG...)

The amount of stupidity I have been around and witnessed lately is just unreal ! I can't even comprehend the amount of stupid that tends to run through the veins of humanity .. Honestly . Got people over here who are wasting their money to the point that they are broke , then turn around and buy expensive and unnecessary shit with credit .. Great so you're going to be broke AND have bad credit .. Forgive me as I laugh when you fall on your ass ! Some might ask why I would be so cruel after being in a situation in which being broke and have fucked credit occurred . Why ? Because it only happened cause I had no control ! I would have never been so irresponsible and stupid with my money , and even if I was I would not , then , go and buy a bunch of shit on credit and fuck myself even more . So congratulations .. at the rate you're going you're kid will be pissed at you and homeless living with extended family or significant others struggling to finish high school .. Moving on .
More stupidity , parents who don't help out their kids .. Yes , my biological father and I have issues . I am , and always will be pissed at him . He is a fucked up individual for many reasons that would take probably 300 blog posts to explain .. Never the less , he has this insatiable need to be right all of the time . He is condescending and flat ass bad in the "dad" department . For example , I decided I was done dealing with his bs when he told me straight to my face that between me and my former step mother we "ruined his life" . I was DONE at this point . When you have gotten so low as to blame your child and the woman YOU wanted to marry and YOU put all your time and money into for your life being fucked up ... No .. just no .
Any how , I had asked him to do a simple favor for me .. Just ONE fucking thing , considering he has done almost nothing for me in the 12 years he has known me . And he wont do it .. Not that he can't he just doesn't want to .. Why ?  Because I've been "ignoring" him for a year . NEWSFLASH: when someone says their done with you , that means done , over finished , fuck off . Not to mention he made NO effort what so ever , until my birthday , to speak to me either . He sent me a text on my birthday after almost a year of not speaking and I'm supposed to be excited ? No .. Fuck you dude . I will do it ALL myself just like I've always had to cause you're a good for nothing , dead beat , piece of shit excuse for a father .. I only hope that my baby brother doesn't have to learn that the hard way like me..
Moral of the story , if you leave your kids in the cold , they will leave your ass to die alone . No  one can handle stupid forever .. Every one has a BS level that can't be passed .
DON'T be stupid w/ your finances , and DON'T be a piece of shit parent . Fuck .

Starting over... All over again

Recent weeks have been hard and stressful . I had to move on the shortest notice , I lost half my things, some are in storage , only my clothes and important papers are here . I am stable and I am happy , but I am an emotional wreck . I have mixed emotions and feelings about almost everything right meow .. Yes , I just said right meow ... deal with it !
Any how , I am now living with my boyfriend in his parents' house with his 3 sisters . I love his family more than anything , they have been there for me through a hell of a lot ..
I can't lie , I miss my house , my space , my kitties , and even (at moments) miss my mom .. I don't know . I know it was coming , but it was just delayed for so damn long , that some how I convinced myself it would never happen , wow was I wrong !
I had to move my whole life before school started the next week /:
Then the day after I get sick and stayed sick for two days , that was not a helping factor .. I was , and still kind of am , moody .. I just , yeah .. I know this is probably the LEAST organized post I've written , but that's because normally I have a plan , an outline , or at least know prior to writing almost every word I will write , this ..? This is just straight thoughts , exactly what I felt or am feeling , I'm putting into words .
As if high school isn't hard enough , not to mention stressful , I had to add moving to it ..
The sad thing was , about a week before halloween every one was posting 'then&now' pics of their halloween costumes from Freshman to Senior year .. I racked my brain for a good hour trying to figure out why I couldn't remember what I was that year .. Why ?  Because I spent halloween night moving from Rocklin to a motel 6 in North Highlands .. WITH NO CAR !
Welp , my first and last year of HS on halloween night are the same thing .. I was dressed as a stressed out teen who doesn't know what to do or where to put my stuff at .
I know this sounds kinda ranty and sort of like I am just bitching , but you know .. I am only writing so the thought is out some wheres .. and I feel that going through the shit life that I have will help me help other people . People will always tell you "I understand" "I get it" but some things ... If you haven't LIVED it .. you don't know shit about how that person feels . Being a homeless teen , especially more than once ... that's one of those things .
So , if anyone has dealt with any of the things that I just listed , feel free to talk to me , cause I've lived it ..<3

https://www.facebook.com/legacyinthemaking2013

What did you have to do ..?

What do you have to do so wrong to a person that they decide it is okay to bomb your apartment ..?!
Well , the sad thing is that some times you have done nothing and you are just the victim of insanity and human stupidity . Tonight while I was on the phone with my boyfriend , I heard a loud explosion .. At first sound I thought it was a bomb , be me being the semi-positive person I am , I figured it was just some moron lighting off fireworks . I heard the crackle afterwards like you would at Cal-Expo on the 4th of July . Well , my hunch was right .
A few minutes later I heard my neighbors mentioning something about a fire . Again , me not thinking and not putting 2&2 together I figured maybe they were cooking and caught the stove on fire . I again , was wrong . Suddenly I hear siren after siren , and I go out on the balcony attached to my room and there are lights every where and the air is FILLED with white smoke . They blocked off the entire left side of my street and set up road blocks for anyone passing through . The officers proceed to tell us to go into our homes , that there is a suspected arsonist on the loose and the K9's need to track the scent . Not long after , helicopters are circling my house , and more and more cops and firefighters are showing up . No more than 10 minutes after the fire stops burning , it's on channel 13 news . Evidently the suspect threw fire bombs through my neighbors' windows , intending to either blow just them up or the entire complex .. the worst part .. it was only two rows down the parking lot from my home .
I panicked and called my boyfriends mother to come get me . Although I was skeptical about leaving my mom and kitties behind , I figured that now that the suspect knows their wanted , their little bombing escapades are up for the night . Not to mention , all of our family is minimum 8 hours away , so it could be weeks before her family is notified that we are dead , especially if we are blown up .
I truly hope that the family that owns that condo was not in their home when this occurred because this is unfair and cruel . And clearly too thought out yet some how not thought out enough . Why do people do this to one another . I mean , even a shooting , at least you have the balls to look them in the face , but to bomb their house/family and run ? That is beyond fucked up ..
Who ever you are .. I hope you are happy ! You've successfully devastated a household and terrified our neighborhood.. As I am writing this there are still helicopters looking for the person(s) responsible for this tragedy ..
My hope in humanity , officially diminished ...

Hair portfolio !

http://www.facebook.com/legacyinthemaking2013

See you again ..

Having people close to you is amazing feeling .. It makes you feel like you are never alone . Until what is closest to you is ripped away . My best friend and I have had an amazing relationship , very hard and lots of fights , but we always stay best friends , I couldn't live with out her .
Her family has been more family to me over the years than my own family has been in my entire lifetime .. It's still like that /:
We found out last month .. her little sister was being taken from us ... When was the last time that CPS did something helpful ..? I have never seen it .. I've had a few experiences with them .. They usually ignore important cases and rip apart families that could have solved small problems on their own .
My best friend and I love to sing . We have been performing at an amazing little coffee shop , Extreme Java Jungle Cafe , but this last performance .. We had to call off ... Her sister was always the one to cheer loudest , always clapped the longest .. Even recoded us so we could put our name out there .. It didn't feel right with out her there .
Luckily we had an amazing guy to work with , the store owner .. He was so understanding of our family situation and told us we are more than welcome to come back as soon as we are ready . Thank you Ralph , you've been great !
The day Sydni left , I had seen her that morning .. I hugged her as she cried , wiped away a few of her tears , and told her I loved her , not knowing when was the next time I would see her or even hear from her . As our dad dropped me off at home , i said good bye to him and the girls , stared right into her eyes , and turned away before they watered .. No sooner than I got to my door they were gone ..
I titled this post 'see you again' because i finally found a song that with in the first verse explains that day perfectly .. The song is by Carrie Underwood ..
'Said goodbye , turned around , and you were gone , gone , gone , faded into the setting sun .. Slipped away'. I cried the first day I heard this song cause it not only mimics the last day i saw sissy , but the last night i saw my grandfather before he passed ..
I hope that anyone who is missing some one right now , can read this and take comfort in the fact that we are all missing someone . If they left .. They will be back , and they died , you will be with them soon .. Timing is everything in this life . And even when it seems like the worst possible timing , for what ever reason , it is.probably perfect .

One wish ...

I wish life came with instructions .. A guide that tells us where to go and what not to do . Although with the way people listen these days , it would be ignored any ways .. I wish there was a book that told you how your actions would effect you and the people around you , even ones you don't know you're connected to ..
For example ; I have a little brother , he turned 13 in January , and I've never met him .. His mom bailed on my dad when the baby was first born , (according to my Dad) , never to seen or heard from again . Do I blame her for disappearing ? No . Would i have rathered her stayed with my dad .. Hell no ! But I do wish she could see how much it hurts to know my little brother has no idea who i am .. If any chance Anne or Joshua read this .. I would love to see my brother ..
But i know that only fairy tales have happy endings , my life on the other hand .. A series of unfortunate events , tragedies , and heart breaks .. I learned that at a very young age , and learned to live with the fact that life sucks , and never gets better .
Even the happiest looking people are miserable inside ..
Why ? Because no one cares how their actions affect others .. My life sucks because my family members are all either selfish , completely stupid , or run from their problems . There are so many generations of bull shit individuals on every side of my family , I constantly considering disowning them ...
I love them , but they make me miserable , they don't do anything that doesn't benefit them ..
I hardly ever feel like a part of the family .. I feel more comfortable with my best friends family ..
Wouldn't it be great if every body considered others in their decision making ? If people didn't just spring important information on you last minute ..? If your opinion matter to anyone ?
Welcome to the 21st century , where we are trying to stabilize mars , and we can parent-less babies , but our country is trillions of dollars in debt , mother earth is dying , families are being murdered , and your opinion either stays in your head , or your hated or dead ..
Quit while your ahead ..

I just wanna talk .. But should I ?

Sometimes I find myself in one of those moods where you're just like "Fuck everything , and everyone...". I currently feel like this almost everyday of my life . I don't understand why everything is always such a big fucking deal all the time .. Life is too short to spend all your time worrying about the little shit . I am to this point where I will just say the first thing that pops in my head and rolls off of my tongue , and that's pretty dangerous for me ..
Like I woke up from a random mid-day nap to a text from my friend (female) and as the conversation continued I told her I don't trust any of my friends around my bf when I'm not around . I don't think that's healthy though .... Like honestly if you cant trust your friends ..? Idk , but the way it came out was wrong so she took it wrong .. Luckily we recovered before she went to bed , 5 minutes ago . But I can't help feeling like nothing I do is right . When I don't say exactly what's on my mind , like .. if I try to say it nicely , im 'beating around the bush' or 'sugar coating' it . If I say it the way it pops in my head , I'm a 'bitch' , 'rude' , some how I'm 'inconsiderate' of other peoples' feelings . Well then how tf' am I supposed to say it ?! Fuck ...
See , there is a common misconseption that perfection exists .. NEWS FLASH DUMB ASSES !! No one is , will be , or has ever been 'perfect' .. it DOES NOT exist .. So stop holding people up to this ridiculous standard .. Honestly , if you think perfection is necessary .. start with your self .. Show us all how 'perfect' you can get .. But keep in mind that perfection doesn't brag , so you literally have to show us , with actions .. NO words .. Imposible ? Thought so .. Shut the hell up ..
I'm just so sick of being 'wrong' every thing I do is wrong .. Always . Just for once I'd like to be told I did something right .. but then again , why do I care to be held to the standards of other people... ? Why..? Cause I have no fucking choice .. It seems like until I'm 18 everything I do is EVERY single persons business , and conveniently .... they all think I'm wrong , but since they all think I'm wrong for different reasons , then they fight each other on who's more right about how wrong I am ... Honestly ? Are you serious ..?
However ; this disillusion that becomin an adult will relive that pressure haunts me , cause I know it's exactly that ... a disillusion . Why ? Because even once you're grown people think that your life and your choices are their business and they will always find a reason to try and throw you off your path ..
Lesson of this rant .... Trust no-one but yourself .. Cause only you really care about you ..
-Nelle♥

Family , in the blood or the heart ? (Part 1)

    I wonder how people think about things , I always wonder what life is like from another person's perspective . It's physically impossible to ever get the chance to explore that idea , and simply asking isn't going to give you a perfect scenario of what they think , how they feel , how life affects them .
For the most part it is easy to tell when a person is sad or upset , but to really understand how they FEEL , it's damn near impossible ..
    That being said , I wonder how people feel about 'Family' . I only put quotes around it because some people feel very strongly that if you aren't blood , you aren't family . Other people normally accept others if they've been legally married into the family , but not a second before . I ; however , will adopt any one who has my time , devotion , and heart , and can prove to me that they love me and care about me for who I am as a person . Some one who I can cry to and rely on , someone who puts as much time and effort into the relationship as I do .
    I have 2 (possibly 3) biological half brothers .. Two of which I have never met . I NEVER say ; however , that I only have 2 siblings I say I have 6 . I am the middle of seven kids for about 9 years now . Although my step siblings are no longer legally bound to me , they tugged on my heart strings from day one , and my heart tied them to me . They have given me a wonderful step mother and 3 gorgeous nieces that I love and cherish like no other . They are truly amazing people , slightly crazy and dramatic , but they all have great hearts ♥
   I have also noticed they adopt close friends and married relatives into their lives as well .. Examples are , my eldest sisters boyfriend , my moms friends Matt and Mardelle and their girls . We are kinda crazy and really dysfunctional but we always have each others backs .

   My oldest sister , Nicci , she was a burn victim at age 7 . I admire her to
this day for her confidence and perseverance in life . She has two beautiful daughters that I love with all my heart , and she is a California girl with a down south attitude .

After her is my sister Noni . She is loud , bold , NEVER out spoken by anyone , proud , beautiful , and short .. very short Cx She gave me a gorgeous niece also who is just the cutest (loudest) little angel ever . She is very protective and loving and loves companionship .


My big bubba , Ty . He is soo colorful .. Sportin' the rainbow bitchezzz ;) He is other sister born with a penis . He is crazy , loud , fun , passionate , and well .. Gay , in both senses . He is quite a character , but he knows that in our family no one is gonna fuck with him , cause of who he fucks that don't fly .
My baby sister , Mimi , my star athlete ! This little girl , impossible to sleep next to ! But crazy not to love . She is a ball of fun , unless she is grumpy then ya know , keep your distance lol . She is my little piece of heaven , she is always so fun and active , with a loving heart . She brightens my day , no matter what mood I'm in .

And last but not least .. the baby , Kel .. The ring leader of the 'Pain in the ass crew' . This little man has brought me so many laughs over the years , he truly is the best baby brother .... Never mind the fact he stole my dimples and dad's tall genes -___-
We recently discovered he has autism , which is what has been making it hard to handle him for many years , but we finally understand that with him certain things have to be handled differently than other . Noni and I plan on soon getting Autism awareness puzzle pieces to show our love and support for our little man .

I gained so many amazing family members from a terrible experience .. I could not trade a single one of them for the world . They keep me together .
Mom , Grandma , Papa , Aunts , Uncles , Cousins .. They all warm my heart and accept me as their own .. what more could an adopted kid hope for ? (:
-Nelle♥

Home ..

When is home not ... 'Home' anymore ..?
Isn't the saying , 'home is where the heart is , if your heart is there .. its home.' ?
So , if there is so much pain in your house you feel like you have no heart when you're in it .. isn't that a reason to leave ?
I find it a constant struggle .. I can't even be in my house for any period of time with out crying . There's so many bad memories here ... So many failed attempts , it's a useless battle . I have lived with my mom my entire life .. My dad comes and goes on a whim .. Our story is long and complicated .. But the story with my mother is no more simple .. it could take me possibly 6 posts EACH to explain my situation with either parent .. However , neither one of those relationships are good , and to me they are both lost causes .
When I'm in this house , I feel alone .. abused .. unwanted , unloved , neglected , misunderstood . Even worse , I KNOW that she doesn't care .. My only way out is to graduate ... once I do that she has no reason to keep me here .. I refuse to stay here after that day .. but for as fast as this year has flown by already , it's not fast enough .. All I want is to get out .
My boyfriends' family takes care of me . His mom's best friend from high school took me to the hospital a while back .. I had no clue where my mom was or when she would be back , and it took me and hour to get ahold of her just to tell her i was going in . Unlike any other parent who SHOULD HAVE come up to the hospital to relieve this woman of being there , she continued with her plans , then went to bed before I even found out what was wrong with me ..
If it was my kid .. They would have known where I was , what I was doing , and what time I intended on being home . My phone would've been on me , and when my kid says 'Im in the ER' I would have dropped EVERYTHING , and drove my ass to the hospital where I belonged ..
But here's the funny thing .. She gets offended by the amount of time I spend with his family and how much they do for me and care for me.. She says she feels as if they want to adopt me in cause they feel like I'm under-cared for here .. News flash . I am ! And that is how they feel .. at least they feel something ! I feel as though my mom just doesn't give a shit any more .. I get blamed for our relationship falling apart , i got blamed for our finances being crap , you name it .. Then I get grounded for spending too much time over there and not communicating with her .. When , get this , I spent 2 hours the day before on the phone with her and every one else under the sun trying to get some one to fix her blown tire because SHE didn't put her big girl panties on and text/call these people herself ...
I don't know .. To me , if some one is truly miserable to the point to where they tear up just having to walk through the thresh-hold of their own damn house ... They should leave , and they should be allowed that option .
-Nelle♥

Have you ever ..

Have you ever been scared out of your mind , for something that has nothing to do with you ?
Something that couldn't have LESS to do with you ..
Well , I have ... ermm ... am . I found out Saturday my sister had to get surgery .. She has an infection and an impassable kidney stone .. So they had to put a stick into her tubes to allow the liquid to still pass , and once the infection is gone she has to get surgery to have the stone broken up so it can pass ..
The hospital is calling this 'minor surgery' .. Now of coarse , compared to something like open heart surgery .. yeah , pretty minor .. But they don't know my sister and her history .. My sister has had more surgeries in her life than a woman of only 22 should have had to endure , and they started when she was 7 .. She was in a terrible house fire , burned from head to toe . She had to have surgery , skin graphs , and a blood transfusion . Since then he has also had surgery to remove some of the skin on her pinkie finger , cause they over graphed it .. and she has had a cesarean section for both of her beautiful daughters . However , the first C-section ... was not by choice .. She got toxiemia 5 weeks before the babies due date and had to have an emergency C-sectionv, for the well being of her and her daughter . This surgery left the baby in the NICU , and my sister needing a blood transfusion .. again . I am not very religious .. but i prayed every day she would be okay ..
My sister is strong , opionionated , fiesty , happy , couragious , and crazy .. but will power , it just can't fight against medical statistics .. This surgery has me scared shittless , I wish I could walk with her every step of the way ..
Ashley has always been my best friend , and I know she'll make it through cause she always does .. I just wish we could skip over it actually happening , for her sake more than anything .. I can tell she is scared and in pain even though she keeps a straight face .. I know my sister . A small part of her is saying 'Common , this aint your first rodeo !' And every other part is screaming 'What will happen to your girls?' 'How will my husband take it?' 'Is this going to hurt?' 'I know this aint my first rodeo .. but could it be my last..?'

Well Ashley , I'm here to tell you that this is not your last rodeo sister ! We are all here for you every step of the way , and we love you to pieces .
And for the record if anything happens to you over the course of the girl's life time , I have no problem being super auntie and helping out , after all having Nessa here that week was soo much fun ! (:
I love you sissy , you're strong and amazing .. You can do this .
-Nelle♥

Pain .. The silent murderer .

In advanced , I'm sorry for not posting in a while .. It's been an interesting month and a half (x

Pain .. Pain is something every one has to endure at some point in their lives . Whether it be physical , emotional , fictional , pain is real and causes people to do weird , crazy things some times .
Yesterday I found out that my sister's , Ashley and Sara .. Their dad's super close friend committed suicide . They said it broke their daddy's heart to hear the news , this man was practically.. no he was family to them , and he took his life . You have to be in a lot of pain to think that suicide is your best option . This poor man .. I could only imagine what he must've been feeling when he pulled that trigger ..
Guys , suicide is never the answer .. Even when it seems like it is the only option .. it's not . And just because you think no one will miss you or notice .. doesn't mean they wont . Even if just one person cares , the heart of that person is shattered forever , knowing some one they loved and cared for is now gone forever .
I know pain is real , and it puts crazy thoughts through your head .. To be completely honest , I thought suicide was the way .. a few times .. Now I never acually had the balls to try .. but I would contenplate every day .. "Who would really miss me?" "Who would notice first?" "Who even gives a shit?!" These thoughts ran through my head every day for almost an entire year .. And  never expressed that to any one until now .
I used to self harm in JR High . My closest two friends and I used to cut ourselves , burn our selves , give our selves eraser burns .. I am so lucky to be able to STILL call those girls my best friends .. Thank God we never took it too far or hit a vein on accident .. Cause I may not even be here to right this . I am so greatful for my sister Ashley , though . She , and her mom who I love so dearly , talked me out of this insanity before it got out of hand . My sister went down that road when I was much younger and I told our parents and got her help .. She told me it was only right if she did the same for me . Knowing that even just those two people cared .. helped me understand I was making a huge mistake , and that I could've killed myself and not even known it ..
I hope that anyone who is or was considering self harm of any kind (suicide included) that this helped you see , there's a better way .. You will be missed , you are loved , and even though life is shit right now ... It does eventually get better .. It takes time , but no rain storm comes with out a rainbow on it' ass ;)
-Nelle♥
P.s.
A special shout out to Sara , David and Ashley ... You guys are amazing and strong indiviuals ..
And Rest peacefully Timmy Jones , gone , but never forgotten from the hearts that heald you close .

Fight for your right .. Your right to fight !

During election season , I wondered what my friends and other young people would have to say about it . I had in my mind what I knew , thought , believed and wanted . I was very intrigued to see what their take on the election season would be . I saw so many facebook posts about not only the presidential election , but the props as well .
It got me thinking ... If we all have such passionate opinions on the fate of our country , why are we not allowed to voice them . Oh yeah , that's right  .. America doesn't give a shit yet . Yeah see , They wont care what we think until we are 18 years old . They seem to think that the age 18 adds a level of maturity that will allow us the emotional integrity to decide the fate of our country .. What they don't understand is that 18 is literally just an age . There may be some people that wake up on their 18th birthday with a sense of responsibility knowing that they will be held to a higher standard , everybody else wakes up just like every other day .
I began to think , I want to MAKE them give a shit ! When I actually started to think about it , I wanted every highschooler , from Sophmore to Senior , to be allowed to vote . Why you ask ? Because if you really think about it , any man / woman in office will be there for 4 years , that means their decisions directly effect our lives after we graduate and become 18 . The health care bills will effect us , gas prices , taxes , new laws , every thing effects our future . I find it fitting that we should get a say in the way our lives will be lived , and have to be lived .
I talked to a few adults and a few of my friends about it , and also looked it up online . Turns out the legal voting age fluxuates in different states and countries ; however , the federal law in the US is 18 . Although we do have some states who have chosen to lower their voting age to 17 , it doesn't include major elections , mainly the presidential elections . How pointless is that ?! The president makes the decisions on making or taking away laws , he stamps his approval on it at the end ... So why the hell shouldn't I be allowed to say who decides the next 2-3 years of my young adult life ?
I want to know how many young people out there wish that they had a say in what goes on in this country . And how many of you adults wish you had've had the right to do so when you were younger ? For me personally , I've run every aspect of my life since I could talk , I like at least feeling like my voice has been heard ..
Nelle ♥

High School

Can every one just agree that high school is just a pain in the ass ? Between the work , the drama , relationships , earning independence , the responsibilities .. That's just the average , but every teen has their very own trials and tribulations to add to that . Some have abusive parents , some have no parents , some are battling weight issues , some being bullied , some raising their siblings , some raising their own kids .

 Believe it or not there are some kids who go through it all . For me , high school has been a series of horror stories . Freshman year , I started in Visions . I started off great , then last minute we got told we had to move in two weeks , less than a week before we had to be out our car broke down on the freeway and we had no transportation . We rented a U-Haul , got a storage , packed it as much as we could and put what wouldn't fit there into our useless car that sat in the parking lot of my moms school . We stayed in motels for about a week before we found a place to move into .
The day we looked at the place, not even 15 minutes before we met with the land lady , my school calls me telling me that they are scheduling an academic intervention because I haven't been doing my school work . Mind you , Visions is mostly electronic now , and the computer they gave me was sitting in a storage unit , 6 miles from our motel room . I decided then , they if they cant work with me under such circumstances , it wasn't even worth it .. And I stopped trying in school . Worst mistake of my life .
January of 2012 , I un-enrolled from Visions , and enrolled into Options . I walked in with 55 credits and a terrible disposition towards school in general . I am currently 84 credits away from graduating , and I've closed out every class I have taken in the past year with nothing less than a B- .
 The point behind this whole story is that high school is shit . It's hard , it's unpleasant , nobody wants to do it . But the rewarding feeling you get when you're almost to the end , makes the entire experience worth it in the end . Although I have never gone to public high school , I have still endured my fair share of drama and BS . Between family problems , former friendships , relationships .
Being homeschooled does not by any means make high school easier , you just get to wake up later is all . I hate to see kids give up on school . I grant you , I have thought about it a couple times , but I know now , that it would have been my biggest mistake , and my biggest regret . It's not easy and it's not fun , but it's a stepping stone to something much bigger .

 What people don't understand is that , our economy can't get any better unless we help it . What it needs is motivated young adults to get themselves through high school , and then through college , whether that be university , community , or vocational . To get in , get the tools they need to succeed and make their imprint on the world . I know to any one in high school , that seems far fetched and a long time from now , but it really isn't ! Our future is right around the corner , we just have to be will to make the turn <3
Nelle ♥

Hair & Such

How do you wear your hair ? Long , short , curly , straight , wavy , coarse , thin , soft , rough , natural , braided , processed , colored , bleached ? There's so many ways to wear hair . So many styles , endless possibilities .. Isn't it fantastic ? Or is that just me ?.. Cause I'm a hair fanatic ! (:
Hair fascinates me , it intrigues me in every way . Hair is what I do ... literally . I am a hair dresser in training . My dream is to graduate high school early , get into Marinello School of Beauty , get my cosmetology license , and open up my own salon . I will call it 'Legacy' , because it's that exactly .. I am continuing my great aunt's legacy <3
Sometimes I get worried about how I will prepare for my salon , how I could ever afford it .. And then I remember anything is possible if you believe it to be true . Then I just get really anxious and try to speed time up so I can hurry up and be there already .
I am proud of the work I have done over the years .. although only in the past year or so have I been smart enough to take pictures and put together a portfolio .. I am not a smart cookie . I will post pictures of some of my work , from cuts , to dye jobs , and even braids . I know it may look bad using my blog as publicity for my hair business , but , hey ! This my damn blog ! Don't like it ? Don't read ;)






Anyways , I wanna know what the "IT" thing of 2013 is . What's the style for this year ? I also want to know who in the North Highlands area is willing to have their hair trimmed , braided , styled , curled , etc. by an unlicensed but pretty good 16 year old ... Ermm , me . I need men and women to add to my portfolio , even kids and teens , I do my nieces hair all the time .. not an easy task by ANY means .. But it gets done .
 A persons hair says a lot about them , it can make or break their confidence , and accent a look . Hair does so much more for you than you could ever know . Maybe if people are really nice and leave me lots of response comments , I will do a post about proper hair care , and the products I use for my hair . Hair is a beautiful thing that most people take for granted . Hair is a privilege people ! Remember that .
Have you ever had one of those moments , where you wish what you were doing would never end ? Like you could do it til you died and never grow weary of it's presence . That's how I feel when I do hair . No matter what I'm doing . Even putting my little sisters hair into a pony tail is a happy moment for me . I love to experiment with my hair , and I love it when others like to experiment with their hair and involve me (:
This has been my little hair post , just thought I'd let you all know how much I love doing hair <3 It's my life , it always has been and always will be . One day , I'll have my own salon .. And you're all welcome to come .. If you print out this blog post and show it to me I may even do your hair free ;)
Nelle ♥
NOTE: The pictures in the post are hair styles , cuts , or colors that I either did to myself , or by myself . I had no professional permission or assistance in these styles . These are all done off the top of my head .. This is my work <3
I will link you to my 'Hair' album on my FB page for proof .
Facebook album 'hair'

Is it weird ?

Is it weird to have an adult best friend ? Unrelated of coarse , cause it's normal and very healthy to be close with the grown-ups in your family . I more mean , a man or woman who isn't otherwise connected to you becoming your best friend . Some one you go to with all your problems . This of coarse can get weirder depending on the age of the child/teen and the age of the adult , and it may change in certain peoples eye if the gender is different ..

But no . I have really found a best friend in a grown woman . I am 16 , she will be 34 this April . She has a son my age and a daughter a few years younger than us . She is the high school best friend of my boyfriend's mother , which is how I met her . She moved here with her son last year in March .. a couple weeks from now it will be a year . She was like hell on wheels . Loud , colorful , opinionated , fun , fierce , flirty , just a ball of awesome . She is funny , clumsy , a great cook , she is compassionate and heartfelt , helpful , and gives good advise . She will tell you how it is and if you don't like it ,"Tough shit!" . She don't give a damn ;)

I love to quote her , she has such comical a brash statements . She is a complete character all to herself , and I have loved every day of this last year with her . She has helped me through a lot . Problems with family , my relationship , other friend ships . She is never judgmental , she has been through so much in her life she feels as if she has no room to judge another person ( as any one should cause no one has room to judge ) . She is just amazing inside and out . She has been through hell and back and she finally had enough and broke down and cried to my boyfriend and I . I honestly didn't know how to handle it . My friends and family cry all the time , but SHE ... oh no . She was strong . One of the strongest women I know .
But you know what ? Everybody has their moments , and this was hers . She has been there for me through so much this past year . I just thought I would let her know that she is truly my best friend .
She had a baby at a young age , got married young , had another not long after . She is a great mom , raised two healthy , happy , strong willed kids , who are growing into a fine young man and woman .
 I know this may sound kind of backwards coming from younger to older , but I am really fucking proud of her . She came back to California with nothing , she left her life , and anything that didn't fit in her jeep , back in GA and came here and made something of herself .




As I write this she is working on her degree is cosmetology , and will be graduating sometime early summer . Thank you Marinello for giving my best friend a new start and a brand new lease on life . I am always going to be there for her , they same way she is there for me <3
Plus , we got a matching tattoo ... So , this biotch is stuck with me forevaa (;
Nelle ♥ 

Relationships

What do you classify as a real relationship ? I can guarantee that half of the things that people would settle for are NOT real relationships , they are disgraceful to those of us who know what they want and how to give and demand respect in a relationship . In this same way , a lot of people don't understand there is a difference between 'dating' and being in a 'relationship' . Just because you hold hands , you text all day , you make out , go to the mall together , hell .. you can even be fucking .. If there's no title there's NO RELATIONSHIP . There's no such thing as , 'oh a title doesn't make or break us' bitch please . A title is the difference between their YOURS and you haven't claimed it , so it's any bodies game . This happens to females more than males , only because males recognize when their own game is being spit at them . Women get to swept up in sweet texts and emotions to see the bigger picture . Not always mind you , I do have some male friends that are always the ones getting fucked over and some female friends who are the 'hit it and quit it' types , but those are rare .. just sayin' . If you wanna say you're in a real relationship , there has to be COMPLETE trust . No secrets , no lies , no back stabbing , nothing . They have to be able to trust you with their lives , their secrets , and their heart . Second biggest thing , communication . I know from recent events in my own relationship , that we are starting to lack communication , but we caught it quick and we know it's something we have to work on to maintain a strong and healthy relationship . Compassion is another big thing in a relationship . Everybody wants to feel important , appreciated , and listened to . Everyone does , and every one needs that , it helps us maintain a sense of self and it keeps us motivated . I don't believe in friends with benefits nor do I believe in taking 'breaks' . Saying 'we should take a break' is a smart persons way of saying "I'm leaving you but you can think we are getting back together some time in the near future" . Honestly , if your relationship cant handle the argument that brought about the 'break' , you should stay separated , cause if you can't over come the little things , your future is hopeless . Another thing that is unacceptable when it comes to relationships ... REVENGE .... Don't do it ! If your partner does something fucked up to you , let karma get them .. Karma's a BITCH .. believe me . Example , if you get cheated on .. you have 2 options , #1 , leave them .. tell them you don't tolerate cheating and that it's over and move on . Or #2 , get the fuck over it . Accept the fact that it happened , there's nothing you can do about it , ensure it will never happen again , and get over it . Retaliation is not an option , revenge is not an option , holding it against them for the duration of your relationship is not an option , and using the fact that it happened once as an excuse to leave them months or years after it happened .. well , you just look like an idiot . A relationship takes effort and agreement on both ends , compromise and love . If you feel like it's all on you or if your lover is telling you they need something from you , it would do you good to listen . Be that couple every one is striving to be like , that people are amazed to find out you're still together , the one who is just as happy in their own home , as they are out in public ... Be . Happy <3
Nelle ♥

Body art

Yesterday was the most interesting experience I have had lately . Yesterday I let my best friend tattoo me . She is an aspiring tattoo artist and an amazing artist in general . She has been my best friend for over 4 years now and she has always let me practice my hair experiments on her . Neither of us are licensed , but hey .. You gotta start some where , right ? (:

I love my newest tattoo , I say newest cause I have more , and I got it done with my best friend/other mom . These two women have been there for me more than I can imagine or explain , and I am forever thankful for that . Trial and error is the best way to understand your strengths and weaknesses . For example , we discovered yesterday that there is a reason people don't often get tattoo's on their palm skin , it is very tough skin and doesn't like to take well to tattoo ink .

I've been ridiculed for my tattoo's , gotten into fights over them . I've had fucked up tattoo's , but you know what ? I don't now and nor will I ever regret my tattoo's . They are a direct representation of who I am as a person , and they all have more meaning to me than you can imagine . I have three tattoos , (I'll post pictures below) , and I couldn't imagine covering or removing them . I am honestly happy to see more acceptance of body art in occupation and media . Piercings and tattoos , to me , are just another fashion statement , an expression of individuality . It's not different that than the way a person walks, talks, dresses, or even does their hair .
 I mean for as common as it is now , it used to be unusual for people to have purple hair , or orange hair , or neon pink hair , now it's just the usual . Even the elementary kids have it these days . I think people spend too much time judging something that it is none of their business and is far beyond their control .

 Do I think everybody should get tattoo's ? No .. Hell no ! I think a tattoo is a very serious commitment and should only be for people who know what they want and have a purpose behind it . When I ask a person what their tattoo is for I want to not only be able to get the story but I want it to resonate in their mind and make them think back to the very reason they got it done . When some body asks me what my tattoos are for a mirage of thoughts and memories rush into my head and it's almost impossible for me to shut up  about them . My whole point in this is that I want people to see that they cannot judge a person's character by the fact they have tattoos or piercings . Who are you to judge any body else . Tattooed people are just that .. Just people . They are not a foreign species or irrational , nor are they irresponsible . We are just .. People <3


-Nell-Ville.♥