Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts

Friday, April 11, 2014

My life story .. and you wonder I'm screwed up ... Part 2

I could go on for days about the bunches of places that we lived in or stayed in , but there were a few that were more extreme than others . Some situations that even the nicest or calmest person would blow their lid having to deal with.. Let's start with Linda .

Linda- She was a sweet old lady , recently widowed , had a nice 3 bedroom house and a small dog . After leaving my mom's friends house , we moved in with Linda .. this was February 1st , 07 . The room we rented was small , my mom and I shared both the room , and a twin sized mattress to sleep on . Upon moving in , I got very sick , with what I remember to be flu symptoms . Fever , chills , fatigue , I didn't move for days .
Two weeks after moving in she tells us that she wants her space back and we need to be out before the end of the month . THE SHORTEST CALENDAR MONTH OF THE YEAR .. But she told us she would pay back rent for every day we weren't there . So we packed up our shit and tried to find another home . We stumbled upon our next roommate .. from HELL ..

Cheryl- Cheryl was an older woman with a nice older house in Del Paso Heights . She had a mother and young daughter renting the 3rd bedroom from her already , but had the master bedroom available for rent . The location and situation were not ideal , but what do you expect from house hunting on SCL ? So we move in there , thankfully there was lots of room and closet space . A few weeks into living there we find out , the other mother daughter couple has scabies ! Yes I do mean the microscopic parasite that lives and burrows under your skin causing gross and painful rashes that are highly contagious .. Wonderful right ? It gets better .. I started my first ever school year at Hagginwood Elementary , but I didn't start til 2 months before school got out . When I got there it was like a bad mean-girls movie . The clicks had began already , even though high school hadn't .. and of coarse the one girl I liked there happened to be the outcast of the entire school . And what does the out casts best friend become ..? You guessed it .. So I got picked on , pushed around , picked last , and had rumors started about me . Karina was my only friend . Every day I would come home and Cheryl was screaming at me or my mother for something , and my mom never stood up to her , for fear that it would cost us our housing . Well , one day before Cheryl left on a vacation , I was standing in the kitchen listening to her scream at my mother about how "dirty" the kitchen was , even though I had just watched my mom clean it . My mom was giggling and humming to herself trying to ignore Cheryl which just pissed her off more .. I swear I saw her go to swing on my mom and my mouth just blurted "Don't put your hands on my mom you bitch!" She.. went .. NUTS ! She literally went around the kitchen touching everything and saying , "you can't use this , or touch this .." and finally she just banned me from the kitchen all together . (believe it or not that is not the worst of her , but I have better stories to come)

Erika- Struggling to find where to go next, my mom stumbled upon Erika on CL . She was a single mom with two young daughters , a 2 yr old and a 7 yr old . She said she had a car , but it was unreliable . My mom figured that some one like her was great to move in with , they could exchange war stories and parenting strategies and being supporting to one another .. Ha , yeah right . Not long after we move in , Erika asks to borrow our car , says she has to see the Dr. every morning for a shot and her brother was borrowing her car to 'fix it up' . We get a call not long after that if we don't find our way down to the Methadone clinic within the hour , our car was being impounded . My mom rushes down there to find that Erika is a , supposedly , recovering drug addict .. But the reason they called is because when they did a pre-shot drug scan she came up negative and wanted to impound her car so she couldn't drive under the influence again , thats when she told them the car wasn't hers . Things got worse and worse with her until the last straw . Erika had her 'brother' and his gf over for a night and we went to bed not thinking any thing of it . Her 7 year old , whom we were raising cause she was always gone or .. "gone" .. knocks on our door one morning and tells us she tried every thing but "mommy wont wake up" . My mom and I flew out of bed to find Erika passed out on the floor convulsing . We called 911 and she was rushed to the ER , the girls stayed w/ us that day and just cried . While she was gone , my mom went down to get the mail one day . After opening the rent notice she discovered that Erika was lying to her about the amount of money she needed each month . She tacked on cigarette and weed expenses w/o even consulting my mother . So when she returns home asking for the rent , my mom gives her ONLY what she truly needs to pay the rent .. Erika flips , steals my moms cell phone and tells her she can't have it back unless she gives her the rest of the money . My mom tells me to stay in the room , but the more I hear them arguing , the less I could stay in that room . They moved their argument out to the living room , where it took a sour turn . She began to swing on my mom as well as attempting to throw our cell phone over the balcony . When she got physical I tried to call 911 on the home phone , but she snatched the phone and hung it up . I tried once more , she told dispatch "every thing is fine , don't come" , which is usually a clear indication that there is something wrong , but they didn't catch the clue . I tried for the 3rd time to call , she ripped the phone cord out of the wall . I replaced the cord , put my hand over the wall socket and call again , she ripped the cord out again , hurting my hand . I was done with this , so I ran for the front door (not knowing it was locked) , she charged after me and my mom went into momma bear mode . She wrapped Erikas insanely long hair around her hand and yanked her back , screaming "dont touch my daughter!". I ran to my friend Jackies house and called the police from there .. That night I ended up moving into my dads , and the police told my mom just to move her stuff out if she didn't want to take Erika to court .
Think my life can't get any more interesting ? This was only age 12 .. I'll be 18 this year , and this is only 3 roommates out of .. Im not even sure how many ..

Friday, November 22, 2013

Starting over... All over again

Recent weeks have been hard and stressful . I had to move on the shortest notice , I lost half my things, some are in storage , only my clothes and important papers are here . I am stable and I am happy , but I am an emotional wreck . I have mixed emotions and feelings about almost everything right meow .. Yes , I just said right meow ... deal with it !
Any how , I am now living with my boyfriend in his parents' house with his 3 sisters . I love his family more than anything , they have been there for me through a hell of a lot ..
I can't lie , I miss my house , my space , my kitties , and even (at moments) miss my mom .. I don't know . I know it was coming , but it was just delayed for so damn long , that some how I convinced myself it would never happen , wow was I wrong !
I had to move my whole life before school started the next week /:
Then the day after I get sick and stayed sick for two days , that was not a helping factor .. I was , and still kind of am , moody .. I just , yeah .. I know this is probably the LEAST organized post I've written , but that's because normally I have a plan , an outline , or at least know prior to writing almost every word I will write , this ..? This is just straight thoughts , exactly what I felt or am feeling , I'm putting into words .
As if high school isn't hard enough , not to mention stressful , I had to add moving to it ..
The sad thing was , about a week before halloween every one was posting 'then&now' pics of their halloween costumes from Freshman to Senior year .. I racked my brain for a good hour trying to figure out why I couldn't remember what I was that year .. Why ?  Because I spent halloween night moving from Rocklin to a motel 6 in North Highlands .. WITH NO CAR !
Welp , my first and last year of HS on halloween night are the same thing .. I was dressed as a stressed out teen who doesn't know what to do or where to put my stuff at .
I know this sounds kinda ranty and sort of like I am just bitching , but you know .. I am only writing so the thought is out some wheres .. and I feel that going through the shit life that I have will help me help other people . People will always tell you "I understand" "I get it" but some things ... If you haven't LIVED it .. you don't know shit about how that person feels . Being a homeless teen , especially more than once ... that's one of those things .
So , if anyone has dealt with any of the things that I just listed , feel free to talk to me , cause I've lived it ..<3

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

High School

Can every one just agree that high school is just a pain in the ass ? Between the work , the drama , relationships , earning independence , the responsibilities .. That's just the average , but every teen has their very own trials and tribulations to add to that . Some have abusive parents , some have no parents , some are battling weight issues , some being bullied , some raising their siblings , some raising their own kids .
 Believe it or not there are some kids who go through it all . For me , high school has been a series of horror stories . Freshman year , I started in Visions . I started off great , then last minute we got told we had to move in two weeks , less than a week before we had to be out our car broke down on the freeway and we had no transportation . We rented a U-Haul , got a storage , packed it as much as we could and put what wouldn't fit there into our useless car that sat in the parking lot of my moms school . We stayed in motels for about a week before we found a place to move into .
The day we looked at the place, not even 15 minutes before we met with the land lady , my school calls me telling me that they are scheduling an academic intervention because I haven't been doing my school work . Mind you , Visions is mostly electronic now , and the computer they gave me was sitting in a storage unit , 6 miles from our motel room . I decided then , they if they cant work with me under such circumstances , it wasn't even worth it .. And I stopped trying in school . Worst mistake of my life .
January of 2012 , I un-enrolled from Visions , and enrolled into Options . I walked in with 55 credits and a terrible disposition towards school in general . I am currently 84 credits away from graduating , and I've closed out every class I have taken in the past year with nothing less than a B- .
 The point behind this whole story is that high school is shit . It's hard , it's unpleasant , nobody wants to do it . But the rewarding feeling you get when you're almost to the end , makes the entire experience worth it in the end . Although I have never gone to public high school , I have still endured my fair share of drama and BS . Between family problems , former friendships , relationships .
Being homeschooled does not by any means make high school easier , you just get to wake up later is all . I hate to see kids give up on school . I grant you , I have thought about it a couple times , but I know now , that it would have been my biggest mistake , and my biggest regret . It's not easy and it's not fun , but it's a stepping stone to something much bigger .


 What people don't understand is that , our economy can't get any better unless we help it . What it needs is motivated young adults to get themselves through high school , and then through college , whether that be university , community , or vocational . To get in , get the tools they need to succeed and make their imprint on the world . I know to any one in high school , that seems far fetched and a long time from now , but it really isn't ! Our future is right around the corner , we just have to be will to make the turn <3
Nelle