In advanced , I'm sorry for not posting in a while .. It's been an interesting month and a half (x
Pain .. Pain is something every one has to endure at some point in their lives . Whether it be physical , emotional , fictional , pain is real and causes people to do weird , crazy things some times .
Yesterday I found out that my sister's , Ashley and Sara .. Their dad's super close friend committed suicide . They said it broke their daddy's heart to hear the news , this man was practically.. no he was family to them , and he took his life . You have to be in a lot of pain to think that suicide is your best option . This poor man .. I could only imagine what he must've been feeling when he pulled that trigger ..
Guys , suicide is never the answer .. Even when it seems like it is the only option .. it's not . And just because you think no one will miss you or notice .. doesn't mean they wont . Even if just one person cares , the heart of that person is shattered forever , knowing some one they loved and cared for is now gone forever .
I know pain is real , and it puts crazy thoughts through your head .. To be completely honest , I thought suicide was the way .. a few times .. Now I never acually had the balls to try .. but I would contenplate every day .. "Who would really miss me?" "Who would notice first?" "Who even gives a shit?!" These thoughts ran through my head every day for almost an entire year .. And never expressed that to any one until now .
I used to self harm in JR High . My closest two friends and I used to cut ourselves , burn our selves , give our selves eraser burns .. I am so lucky to be able to STILL call those girls my best friends .. Thank God we never took it too far or hit a vein on accident .. Cause I may not even be here to right this . I am so greatful for my sister Ashley , though . She , and her mom who I love so dearly , talked me out of this insanity before it got out of hand . My sister went down that road when I was much younger and I told our parents and got her help .. She told me it was only right if she did the same for me . Knowing that even just those two people cared .. helped me understand I was making a huge mistake , and that I could've killed myself and not even known it ..
I hope that anyone who is or was considering self harm of any kind (suicide included) that this helped you see , there's a better way .. You will be missed , you are loved , and even though life is shit right now ... It does eventually get better .. It takes time , but no rain storm comes with out a rainbow on it' ass ;)
-Nelle♥
P.s.
A special shout out to Sara , David and Ashley ... You guys are amazing and strong indiviuals ..
And Rest peacefully Timmy Jones , gone , but never forgotten from the hearts that heald you close .
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