Parents or Givers of Life ??

Now before you all just assume I'm an angry teenager that hates their parents simply for the fact that I'm young and want to do things my own way .. First of all , I don't allow closed minded fucks on my page , so gtfo .. Second , You have no idea the kind of parents I've had and encountered .. So just stay with me .

I understand that no one is perfect , becoming a parent cannot instantly make you perfect .. But , you need to understand that your choices aren't your own any more . Every thing you do has to be with your child in mind , because every thing you do affects them . I'm about to go through a bullet point list of what not to do as a parent just based on experiences with me and my friends .. (I will not use any names or expose identities .. I swear . That's not my business to tell .)

*Physical reprimanding is acceptable (Otherwise known as Spanking) , it is not okay to leave bruises , marks , or scars on your child . Nor is it okay to do it so often that your kids become jumpy with the expectant of being beat .

*If your child (of same or opposite gender) feels you are being inappropriate in some manner , you need to stop what ever the fuck it is you are doing to make them uncomfortable . Especially if said child can give you a specific list of what they are not okay with . You do not have the right to tell them that they are liars and you can do what ever the fuck you want . I know from personal experience how humiliated and violated you feel , by the person you are supposed to be able to put all your trust in .. your parent .

*If you are dating some one that your kid(s) hate , that abuses them (physically , emotionally , mentally , sexually , etc) or that constantly disrespect you in front of them , and you stay with them , or worse pick them over your child , YOU are a bad fucking parent . When you make the dedication to have a kid , you are saying that for the rest of their life (or at the VERY least until they turn 18) you are promising to put their needs above yours at all costs . If you pick any person over your child while they are still dependent on you , you are a shit parent . Relationships come and go , you will NEVER get a second chance to raise your kids right and show them they can trust you .

*You cannot by any circumstance what so ever be a good parent while on drugs . Period . You are not only breaking the law , you are putting your child's safety in jeopardy , and risking the factor that they may lose you forever (either by jail or death) . You are not fully aware and alert nor are you by any means a good role model . Get clean , or give them up to some one who is .

*Do not ever , EVER threaten your child's life . Not even as a joke . That whole , "I brought you into this world , I can take you out" thing is total fucking bullshit .. Whether you understand it our not , that traumatizes a child . To hear the person they are supposed look up to , and trust to keep them safe not only wants them dead , but dead at their hand ? No . It's simply unacceptable . Don't say it when your're angry , don't say it when your joking .. Just don't .

Last but not least:

*If you are financially unstable , you are instantly a bad parent . If you can't afford and provide for your baby , you just shouldn't have one . I know things happen .. And that's fine , but step the fuck up . Do not make your baby go with out , that is beyond unfair to them . If you can't keep a roof over their heads , clothes on their back , and food in their stomach .. You are an unfit parent . PERIOD .

These are just some of the few circumstances that literally describe the life of me and my closest peers . Sadly , most of these categories applied to every one of us ..
Being alive is hard enough , being a parent is harder .. I know , I had to grow up waay faster than I should've to raise kids I didn't even carry and push out . It was total bullshit . But at a young age I learned .. They don't understand what's going on the way that I do , and they probably wont for years . All they will remember was who was there , and who wasn't .. And I didn't want to be one of the many on the side that weren't there . So I sucked it up , I sacrificed , and I did what the fuck I had to do so THEY could have the childhood I didn't get , because if I had the choice I would want some one to have been there to rescue me ...

My life story .. And you wonder why I'm screwed up .. Part One

This is my way of telling people why I am the way I am .. These stories wont all be pleasant , and some may be just as hard for you to read as they are for me to write . If any one I know reads them I want you to know that I love you and hope you don't take offense to this (unless I hate you then .. Take loads of offense). This is just me , telling my life story from my perspective.

I grew up in a little apt in Rancho Cordova . I lived across the street from a library , I was unschooled , and my mom stayed at home with me . I remember that place . It was my home , my sanctuary . No matter what irrational fears I had , even back then , that apartment was my save place . It was in this apartment that I first discovered my biological father .. He came into my life only because his license was revoked for not paying child support .. Him and I soon had problems and I told him never to speak to me again ..
 I remember when my mom first found out she wasn't going to be able to keep the apt . I don't know if she told me , or I over heard another convo , but I started to panic .. I packed little bags of clothes and toys in anticipation of losing my home .. Why I was so forward thinking as a child , I have no idea .. But I remember telling my mom we should leave before we get thrown out .. that we should live with grandma and grandpa . My mom refused , swore some thing would come along .. Nothing ever did . One morning the police and our land lady showed up on our door step with an eviction notice and with in the hour we were hauling shit to my grandparents house .. I lost my animals , my space , a lot of my stuff , and my sense of stability . That was the only place I had ever lived my entire life , and just like that .. It was gone .
Not long before we lost the place , my father pops back up . Says he's getting married and has 4 new siblings for me and one on the way .. I was so over joyed to finally have siblings that I totally forgot how much I hated him .. I through myself head on into that family .. To this day he thinks I came back to HIM , but honestly I probably still wouldn't have spoken to him if it weren't for them . He may claim his ex wife ruined his life , but w/o her , he wouldn't have even gotten the chance to know me .
Life at my grandparent's was hard . They had very different ways of doing pretty much every thing than what my mom and I were used to , so the four of us were constantly in a battle of who's right vs. who really gives a fuck .. it was nuts .. Two years after we moved in , my grandfather had a fatal car crash due to a brain aneurysm set off by a former stroke . I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours . That man was my best friend , my dad , my grandpa , my favorite person and he was just ripped away from me . One day a few months after the funeral , my grandma decided she was going to sell the house they have had since my mother was 5 and she was going to move to GA to be with her sister . I was so pissed .. I hated my grandmother for quite some time .. I to this day still feel like she abandoned us when what we needed most was family . Those two years with my moms parents were the last stable years of my childhood , cause we moved 15 other times between now and then .. and that's only including actual residencies , not motel stays or sleeping on a friends couch for a few days .