https://www.facebook.com/legacyinthemaking2013

What did you have to do ..?

What do you have to do so wrong to a person that they decide it is okay to bomb your apartment ..?!
Well , the sad thing is that some times you have done nothing and you are just the victim of insanity and human stupidity . Tonight while I was on the phone with my boyfriend , I heard a loud explosion .. At first sound I thought it was a bomb , be me being the semi-positive person I am , I figured it was just some moron lighting off fireworks . I heard the crackle afterwards like you would at Cal-Expo on the 4th of July . Well , my hunch was right .
A few minutes later I heard my neighbors mentioning something about a fire . Again , me not thinking and not putting 2&2 together I figured maybe they were cooking and caught the stove on fire . I again , was wrong . Suddenly I hear siren after siren , and I go out on the balcony attached to my room and there are lights every where and the air is FILLED with white smoke . They blocked off the entire left side of my street and set up road blocks for anyone passing through . The officers proceed to tell us to go into our homes , that there is a suspected arsonist on the loose and the K9's need to track the scent . Not long after , helicopters are circling my house , and more and more cops and firefighters are showing up . No more than 10 minutes after the fire stops burning , it's on channel 13 news . Evidently the suspect threw fire bombs through my neighbors' windows , intending to either blow just them up or the entire complex .. the worst part .. it was only two rows down the parking lot from my home .
I panicked and called my boyfriends mother to come get me . Although I was skeptical about leaving my mom and kitties behind , I figured that now that the suspect knows their wanted , their little bombing escapades are up for the night . Not to mention , all of our family is minimum 8 hours away , so it could be weeks before her family is notified that we are dead , especially if we are blown up .
I truly hope that the family that owns that condo was not in their home when this occurred because this is unfair and cruel . And clearly too thought out yet some how not thought out enough . Why do people do this to one another . I mean , even a shooting , at least you have the balls to look them in the face , but to bomb their house/family and run ? That is beyond fucked up ..
Who ever you are .. I hope you are happy ! You've successfully devastated a household and terrified our neighborhood.. As I am writing this there are still helicopters looking for the person(s) responsible for this tragedy ..
My hope in humanity , officially diminished ...

Hair portfolio !

http://www.facebook.com/legacyinthemaking2013

See you again ..

Having people close to you is amazing feeling .. It makes you feel like you are never alone . Until what is closest to you is ripped away . My best friend and I have had an amazing relationship , very hard and lots of fights , but we always stay best friends , I couldn't live with out her .
Her family has been more family to me over the years than my own family has been in my entire lifetime .. It's still like that /:
We found out last month .. her little sister was being taken from us ... When was the last time that CPS did something helpful ..? I have never seen it .. I've had a few experiences with them .. They usually ignore important cases and rip apart families that could have solved small problems on their own .
My best friend and I love to sing . We have been performing at an amazing little coffee shop , Extreme Java Jungle Cafe , but this last performance .. We had to call off ... Her sister was always the one to cheer loudest , always clapped the longest .. Even recoded us so we could put our name out there .. It didn't feel right with out her there .
Luckily we had an amazing guy to work with , the store owner .. He was so understanding of our family situation and told us we are more than welcome to come back as soon as we are ready . Thank you Ralph , you've been great !
The day Sydni left , I had seen her that morning .. I hugged her as she cried , wiped away a few of her tears , and told her I loved her , not knowing when was the next time I would see her or even hear from her . As our dad dropped me off at home , i said good bye to him and the girls , stared right into her eyes , and turned away before they watered .. No sooner than I got to my door they were gone ..
I titled this post 'see you again' because i finally found a song that with in the first verse explains that day perfectly .. The song is by Carrie Underwood ..
'Said goodbye , turned around , and you were gone , gone , gone , faded into the setting sun .. Slipped away'. I cried the first day I heard this song cause it not only mimics the last day i saw sissy , but the last night i saw my grandfather before he passed ..
I hope that anyone who is missing some one right now , can read this and take comfort in the fact that we are all missing someone . If they left .. They will be back , and they died , you will be with them soon .. Timing is everything in this life . And even when it seems like the worst possible timing , for what ever reason , it is.probably perfect .

One wish ...

I wish life came with instructions .. A guide that tells us where to go and what not to do . Although with the way people listen these days , it would be ignored any ways .. I wish there was a book that told you how your actions would effect you and the people around you , even ones you don't know you're connected to ..
For example ; I have a little brother , he turned 13 in January , and I've never met him .. His mom bailed on my dad when the baby was first born , (according to my Dad) , never to seen or heard from again . Do I blame her for disappearing ? No . Would i have rathered her stayed with my dad .. Hell no ! But I do wish she could see how much it hurts to know my little brother has no idea who i am .. If any chance Anne or Joshua read this .. I would love to see my brother ..
But i know that only fairy tales have happy endings , my life on the other hand .. A series of unfortunate events , tragedies , and heart breaks .. I learned that at a very young age , and learned to live with the fact that life sucks , and never gets better .
Even the happiest looking people are miserable inside ..
Why ? Because no one cares how their actions affect others .. My life sucks because my family members are all either selfish , completely stupid , or run from their problems . There are so many generations of bull shit individuals on every side of my family , I constantly considering disowning them ...
I love them , but they make me miserable , they don't do anything that doesn't benefit them ..
I hardly ever feel like a part of the family .. I feel more comfortable with my best friends family ..
Wouldn't it be great if every body considered others in their decision making ? If people didn't just spring important information on you last minute ..? If your opinion matter to anyone ?
Welcome to the 21st century , where we are trying to stabilize mars , and we can parent-less babies , but our country is trillions of dollars in debt , mother earth is dying , families are being murdered , and your opinion either stays in your head , or your hated or dead ..
Quit while your ahead ..

I just wanna talk .. But should I ?

Sometimes I find myself in one of those moods where you're just like "Fuck everything , and everyone...". I currently feel like this almost everyday of my life . I don't understand why everything is always such a big fucking deal all the time .. Life is too short to spend all your time worrying about the little shit . I am to this point where I will just say the first thing that pops in my head and rolls off of my tongue , and that's pretty dangerous for me ..
Like I woke up from a random mid-day nap to a text from my friend (female) and as the conversation continued I told her I don't trust any of my friends around my bf when I'm not around . I don't think that's healthy though .... Like honestly if you cant trust your friends ..? Idk , but the way it came out was wrong so she took it wrong .. Luckily we recovered before she went to bed , 5 minutes ago . But I can't help feeling like nothing I do is right . When I don't say exactly what's on my mind , like .. if I try to say it nicely , im 'beating around the bush' or 'sugar coating' it . If I say it the way it pops in my head , I'm a 'bitch' , 'rude' , some how I'm 'inconsiderate' of other peoples' feelings . Well then how tf' am I supposed to say it ?! Fuck ...
See , there is a common misconseption that perfection exists .. NEWS FLASH DUMB ASSES !! No one is , will be , or has ever been 'perfect' .. it DOES NOT exist .. So stop holding people up to this ridiculous standard .. Honestly , if you think perfection is necessary .. start with your self .. Show us all how 'perfect' you can get .. But keep in mind that perfection doesn't brag , so you literally have to show us , with actions .. NO words .. Imposible ? Thought so .. Shut the hell up ..
I'm just so sick of being 'wrong' every thing I do is wrong .. Always . Just for once I'd like to be told I did something right .. but then again , why do I care to be held to the standards of other people... ? Why..? Cause I have no fucking choice .. It seems like until I'm 18 everything I do is EVERY single persons business , and conveniently .... they all think I'm wrong , but since they all think I'm wrong for different reasons , then they fight each other on who's more right about how wrong I am ... Honestly ? Are you serious ..?
However ; this disillusion that becomin an adult will relive that pressure haunts me , cause I know it's exactly that ... a disillusion . Why ? Because even once you're grown people think that your life and your choices are their business and they will always find a reason to try and throw you off your path ..
Lesson of this rant .... Trust no-one but yourself .. Cause only you really care about you ..
-Nelle♥

Family , in the blood or the heart ? (Part 1)

    I wonder how people think about things , I always wonder what life is like from another person's perspective . It's physically impossible to ever get the chance to explore that idea , and simply asking isn't going to give you a perfect scenario of what they think , how they feel , how life affects them .
For the most part it is easy to tell when a person is sad or upset , but to really understand how they FEEL , it's damn near impossible ..
    That being said , I wonder how people feel about 'Family' . I only put quotes around it because some people feel very strongly that if you aren't blood , you aren't family . Other people normally accept others if they've been legally married into the family , but not a second before . I ; however , will adopt any one who has my time , devotion , and heart , and can prove to me that they love me and care about me for who I am as a person . Some one who I can cry to and rely on , someone who puts as much time and effort into the relationship as I do .
    I have 2 (possibly 3) biological half brothers .. Two of which I have never met . I NEVER say ; however , that I only have 2 siblings I say I have 6 . I am the middle of seven kids for about 9 years now . Although my step siblings are no longer legally bound to me , they tugged on my heart strings from day one , and my heart tied them to me . They have given me a wonderful step mother and 3 gorgeous nieces that I love and cherish like no other . They are truly amazing people , slightly crazy and dramatic , but they all have great hearts ♥
   I have also noticed they adopt close friends and married relatives into their lives as well .. Examples are , my eldest sisters boyfriend , my moms friends Matt and Mardelle and their girls . We are kinda crazy and really dysfunctional but we always have each others backs .

   My oldest sister , Nicci , she was a burn victim at age 7 . I admire her to
this day for her confidence and perseverance in life . She has two beautiful daughters that I love with all my heart , and she is a California girl with a down south attitude .

After her is my sister Noni . She is loud , bold , NEVER out spoken by anyone , proud , beautiful , and short .. very short Cx She gave me a gorgeous niece also who is just the cutest (loudest) little angel ever . She is very protective and loving and loves companionship .


My big bubba , Ty . He is soo colorful .. Sportin' the rainbow bitchezzz ;) He is other sister born with a penis . He is crazy , loud , fun , passionate , and well .. Gay , in both senses . He is quite a character , but he knows that in our family no one is gonna fuck with him , cause of who he fucks that don't fly .
My baby sister , Mimi , my star athlete ! This little girl , impossible to sleep next to ! But crazy not to love . She is a ball of fun , unless she is grumpy then ya know , keep your distance lol . She is my little piece of heaven , she is always so fun and active , with a loving heart . She brightens my day , no matter what mood I'm in .

And last but not least .. the baby , Kel .. The ring leader of the 'Pain in the ass crew' . This little man has brought me so many laughs over the years , he truly is the best baby brother .... Never mind the fact he stole my dimples and dad's tall genes -___-
We recently discovered he has autism , which is what has been making it hard to handle him for many years , but we finally understand that with him certain things have to be handled differently than other . Noni and I plan on soon getting Autism awareness puzzle pieces to show our love and support for our little man .

I gained so many amazing family members from a terrible experience .. I could not trade a single one of them for the world . They keep me together .
Mom , Grandma , Papa , Aunts , Uncles , Cousins .. They all warm my heart and accept me as their own .. what more could an adopted kid hope for ? (:
-Nelle♥