My life story .. And you wonder why I'm screwed up .. Part One

This is my way of telling people why I am the way I am .. These stories wont all be pleasant , and some may be just as hard for you to read as they are for me to write . If any one I know reads them I want you to know that I love you and hope you don't take offense to this (unless I hate you then .. Take loads of offense). This is just me , telling my life story from my perspective.

I grew up in a little apt in Rancho Cordova . I lived across the street from a library , I was unschooled , and my mom stayed at home with me . I remember that place . It was my home , my sanctuary . No matter what irrational fears I had , even back then , that apartment was my save place . It was in this apartment that I first discovered my biological father .. He came into my life only because his license was revoked for not paying child support .. Him and I soon had problems and I told him never to speak to me again ..
 I remember when my mom first found out she wasn't going to be able to keep the apt . I don't know if she told me , or I over heard another convo , but I started to panic .. I packed little bags of clothes and toys in anticipation of losing my home .. Why I was so forward thinking as a child , I have no idea .. But I remember telling my mom we should leave before we get thrown out .. that we should live with grandma and grandpa . My mom refused , swore some thing would come along .. Nothing ever did . One morning the police and our land lady showed up on our door step with an eviction notice and with in the hour we were hauling shit to my grandparents house .. I lost my animals , my space , a lot of my stuff , and my sense of stability . That was the only place I had ever lived my entire life , and just like that .. It was gone .
Not long before we lost the place , my father pops back up . Says he's getting married and has 4 new siblings for me and one on the way .. I was so over joyed to finally have siblings that I totally forgot how much I hated him .. I through myself head on into that family .. To this day he thinks I came back to HIM , but honestly I probably still wouldn't have spoken to him if it weren't for them . He may claim his ex wife ruined his life , but w/o her , he wouldn't have even gotten the chance to know me .
Life at my grandparent's was hard . They had very different ways of doing pretty much every thing than what my mom and I were used to , so the four of us were constantly in a battle of who's right vs. who really gives a fuck .. it was nuts .. Two years after we moved in , my grandfather had a fatal car crash due to a brain aneurysm set off by a former stroke . I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours . That man was my best friend , my dad , my grandpa , my favorite person and he was just ripped away from me . One day a few months after the funeral , my grandma decided she was going to sell the house they have had since my mother was 5 and she was going to move to GA to be with her sister . I was so pissed .. I hated my grandmother for quite some time .. I to this day still feel like she abandoned us when what we needed most was family . Those two years with my moms parents were the last stable years of my childhood , cause we moved 15 other times between now and then .. and that's only including actual residencies , not motel stays or sleeping on a friends couch for a few days .

High School

Can every one just agree that high school is just a pain in the ass ? Between the work , the drama , relationships , earning independence , the responsibilities .. That's just the average , but every teen has their very own trials and tribulations to add to that . Some have abusive parents , some have no parents , some are battling weight issues , some being bullied , some raising their siblings , some raising their own kids .

 Believe it or not there are some kids who go through it all . For me , high school has been a series of horror stories . Freshman year , I started in Visions . I started off great , then last minute we got told we had to move in two weeks , less than a week before we had to be out our car broke down on the freeway and we had no transportation . We rented a U-Haul , got a storage , packed it as much as we could and put what wouldn't fit there into our useless car that sat in the parking lot of my moms school . We stayed in motels for about a week before we found a place to move into .
The day we looked at the place, not even 15 minutes before we met with the land lady , my school calls me telling me that they are scheduling an academic intervention because I haven't been doing my school work . Mind you , Visions is mostly electronic now , and the computer they gave me was sitting in a storage unit , 6 miles from our motel room . I decided then , they if they cant work with me under such circumstances , it wasn't even worth it .. And I stopped trying in school . Worst mistake of my life .
January of 2012 , I un-enrolled from Visions , and enrolled into Options . I walked in with 55 credits and a terrible disposition towards school in general . I am currently 84 credits away from graduating , and I've closed out every class I have taken in the past year with nothing less than a B- .
 The point behind this whole story is that high school is shit . It's hard , it's unpleasant , nobody wants to do it . But the rewarding feeling you get when you're almost to the end , makes the entire experience worth it in the end . Although I have never gone to public high school , I have still endured my fair share of drama and BS . Between family problems , former friendships , relationships .
Being homeschooled does not by any means make high school easier , you just get to wake up later is all . I hate to see kids give up on school . I grant you , I have thought about it a couple times , but I know now , that it would have been my biggest mistake , and my biggest regret . It's not easy and it's not fun , but it's a stepping stone to something much bigger .

 What people don't understand is that , our economy can't get any better unless we help it . What it needs is motivated young adults to get themselves through high school , and then through college , whether that be university , community , or vocational . To get in , get the tools they need to succeed and make their imprint on the world . I know to any one in high school , that seems far fetched and a long time from now , but it really isn't ! Our future is right around the corner , we just have to be will to make the turn <3
Nelle ♥